


Keeping things from you

by Kota_lee143



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Child Abandonment, Daddy!Mickey, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:59:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3792358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kota_lee143/pseuds/Kota_lee143
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Where Mickey and Mandy live in a an apartment in New York with Ian. Mickey and Ian have been together for about three years until Mickey gets a call and their happy life is turned upside down, because the secret Mickeys been keeping from Ian is about to come out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            Mickey lit what was probably his fifth or sixth cigarette, in the last 30 minutes. He had driven all fucking day to get here, but now that he’s here looking at the Milkovich house, he can’t seem to move.

            Mickey knows that Iggy is in there, he's the one that called him at 4:00 in the fucking morning to make this road trip happen. It's been two years since Mickey’s been back in Chicago, and five since he and Mandy have lived here. They use to come back for holidays, but the last two years different shit keeps stopping that from happening. Now looking at he’s childhood home Mickey can't say that he misses this place one bit.

 

            _"Hold still shithead." Mandy complained as she cleaned the blood from Mickeys face, her long black hair frizzed from all the commotion, eyes red and puffy from where she'd cried while she and Alex brought him home to clean me up. Alex was currently under the sink looking for the first aid kit. She had pulled her long blonde hair up in a messy bun as soon as she let Mickey go._

_"Get the fuck off me Mandy I’m fucking fine!" Mickey pushed Mandy’s hands away from my face, but she just grabbed his face, her piercing blue eyes met Mickeys,_

_"You are bleeding everywhere. You got the shit beat out of you, AFTER YOU CAME OUT TO OUR PIECE OF SHIT FATHER! so sit the fuck down and hold still." Mickey immediately did as he was told. At this point Alex had stopped looking, and was just staring at them threw watery eyes. Mandy’s hands went back to work cleaning his face when Alex finally spoke._

_"You guys need to leave.. Get out of town before Terry get out of jail or if something happens and they send him home tonight.." Both Mickey and Mandy stared at Alex, shocked as hell._

_"What about you and th---"_

_"Terry has no interest in me, he'll just be looking for you and you could end up dead this time Mickey. You need to go, and take Mandy so you two can protect each other. We'll survive without you." Mickey’s eyes shift to Mandy she looks so scared, but when her eyes meet his, he can tell she has made up her mind._

_"She’s right Mick.. We need to get out of here."_

_All he could do was nod, as Mandy buried her face in Mickey’s neck to hide her tears. Over her shoulder Alex and Mickey hold each other’s eyes. Her soft dull green eyes shined with tears when she finally looked away. She was his best friend, and he was willing to give up everything to keep her and Mandy safe. Alex was also willing to keep the secret they shared for everyone’s safety._

 

            Taking one last drag from the smoke Mickey started walking, pushing the memories from that night away from my mind. He could hear the TV going as he knocked on the door waiting for Iggy. When the door opened, the first thing Mickey could see was Iggy’s blonde hair. It was cut shorted then the last time he remembers seeing it.

            "Fucking finally man. I was expecting you to get here like two hours ago." Iggy glanced over him, like he could figure out what took Mickey so long to get here. He opened his mouth, but a small voice cut him off.

            "Uncle Iggy?" Mickey’s whole body snapped straight up his eyes meeting Iggy’s. When he moved out of the door way Mickey was face to face with child behind the voice.

            She was small for eight years old. Her eyes, a bright piercing blue, staring at Mickey and her hair was long with bangs just past her eyebrows cut like Mandy’s only her hair was a red. She was in dinosaur pajamas, clutching a book to her chest.

            “Anastasia.” Was all it took Mickey saying for her to throw herself into his arms. Mickey held her close as she cried into his neck hands fisted in the t-shirt he wore making sure that Mickey wasn’t going anywhere. It’s been two years since He’d seen her. Two years since He’s held her, and now holding her was all he could do as she hick-upped out, “Daddy.”

 

            _It was two in the morning when they got to the bus station. Mandy and Mickey had managed to tickets for a bus to New York. They are really doing this they are leaving behind everything. Alex drove with Mandy in the front seat while Mickey sat in the back holding a very cranky three year old. Alex had wanted to leave Anastasia at home with her grandmother, but fuck he was finding it every hard to think about leaving and not seeing her before he got on that bus._

_If Mickey’s being honest about it the little girl in his lap was a drunken mistake that he and Alex had made one night when they were 16. It wasn’t the first time they had had sex, but it was the one time Mickey had forgot a damn condom. Alex was Mickeys best friend and she knew he was gay even then, but it was simple with them they just happened to be best friends that helped the other get off from time to time._

_It was clear to a blind man that Anastasia was his daughter, she looked just like him. Her eyes were the same intent blue, she had mickey’s mouth and nose, and really the only thing that she got from Alex was her dark red hair. Alex’s mom was a ginger, and even though Alex’s hair was blonde like her fathers it did have that red tint to it at times making it more of a strawberry blonde then anything._

_“Bus 367 to New York now boarding.” The announcement brought Mickey out of his memories. They all made our way to the bus, Mandy hugging Alex close, then taking Anastasia and whispering sweet things to her as Mickey hugged his best friend._

_“We will come back on the holidays to see you two.” Mickey kept reminding himself that he was doing this to protect all of them. Keep Mandy away from Terry, and even keeping himself from Alex and Anastasia would keep Terry from wanting anything to do with them. Mickey was doing all this for them. Alex nodded and gave him a kiss._

_“Fuck off.” Turning to Mandy Mickey grabbed the little ginger out of her hold. “Quit hogging her, douchebag.” He put a little distance between them and the girls and put Anastasia standing on a bench facing him. She looked at Mickey really confused when she asked,_

_“Why’s Aunt Mandy crying?”_

_“You’re Aunt Mandy and I have to go away for a little while, and I want you to know that no matter what I fucking love you. You are the best damn thing to happen to me Anastasia. I love you, don’t forget that.” She still looked confused and even a little sad, but she is only three so Mickey guessed it’s only normal that she doesn’t really understand. She didn’t say anything back just grabbed Mickey and hugged him. When He picked her up and walked back over to get on the bus as Mickey was handing her back to Alex, Anastasia whispered in his ear,_

_“I love you daddy.”_

                Mickey is sitting on the shitty love seat with a slightly snoring Anastasia in his lap. It’s been about twenty minutes since Anastasia saw Mickey for the first time in two years, and she wore herself out crying in his lap. Iggy sat on the other end of the seat beer in hand looking about as tired as the kid. Finally after Mickey was sure he wouldn’t wake Anastasia up he spoke to Iggy,

            “What the fuck happened? Where is Alex why isn’t the kid with her?” He was shooting questions off as they were coming into his head not even really give Iggy a chance to answer them, and when Mickey finally did get an answer it wasn’t what he expected.

            “Alex ran off Mickey. She’s been gone for almost a week, fuck, I just found Lil’ Bit there yesterday. Yesterday Mick! She’s been alone for five days! Alex just fucking left her!” Iggy threw his hands up and started pacing the room beer long forgotten. “Alex has been spiraling for a while now. Fuck man, the schools had to call me to come get Anastasia about four times just in the past six months, because Alex forgot to pick her up! Her apartment looks like it’s never been cleaned. When I asked Lil’ Bit why she didn’t call me when Alex didn’t come home all she said was ‘I thought she’s come back again’. This wasn’t the first time she’s been left Mickey!” He stopped pacing only to turn and look at Mickey eyes full of anger.

            “You should have noticed, you should have been here for your fucking daughter not me Mickey! But no! You’re too busy with your new life in New York with Mandy and that boyfriend of yours to even come down and see her! I bet you still haven’t even told him about her have you!”

            All Mickey could do was look at the sleeping girl in her lap, of course Iggy was right. He didn’t think Ian and him would last so Mickey didn’t ever tell Ian about Anastasia, and after so long it just was never the right time to tell him about her. He’s been lying to his boyfriend for almost three years. Ian knew Mandy had a niece, because she’s all Mandy talked about when they first moved out to New York. Just no body corrected him when he assumed that Mandy’s niece was one of his other brother’s kid.

            “I know I fucked up. I’m here now I’m going to make this right.”


	2. What are we gonna do with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was strange, Mickey was use to being the quite one not having to talk, but now here he was trying to find the right thing to say to break the silence

            Mickey woke up with a sore neck and a pair of big blue eyes staring at him.

        “The fuck you staring at me for, kid?” Grumbling sitting up from the couch that’s hell to sleep on, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Anastasia just kept staring, arms crossed, and not talking. It was very unnerving how she was just standing there, it reminded him of when she was a baby she’d do the same thing. Looking at the time Mickey realized it was only eight, and he already had a missed call from Ian.

            “Fuck” He’d deal with that later, now he just needed some fucking coffee.

            “Are you going to send me away?” Anastasia’s question was enough to make him stop his search for food. Mickey turned to face the small girl. Anastasia looked a lot older then she should her face was hard free of any emotion, arms still crossed, she looked like she has been through so much and Mickey couldn’t help but feel responsible. Iggy had been right Mickey should have been here for her.

            “Stupid question, kiddo,” He turned back to pour the freshly made coffee saying “I’m going to do what I can do.” Mickey took a long drink of coffee then went about looking for food just so he wouldn’t have to turn and look at Anastasia’s broken face. He started making eggs for them trying to think of something to say.

            It was strange, Mickey was use to being the quite one not having to talk, but now here he was trying to find the right thing to say to break the silence. When Mickey turned around prepared to find out what happen with Alex going missing, he found Anastasia reading perfectly happy without talking. He couldn’t bring himself to bring it up; Mickey guessed she’d talk about it when she was ready. Being alone for five days after your mother disappears probably isn’t the first thing she wanted to talk about in the morning.

            Mickey platted the eggs he’d made, plopping one place on top of the open book on the table. He received a hard glare for that one as he sat down across from the small red head, “what are you reading?”

            “ _Jurassic Park._ ” As to prove she wasn’t lying she held the book up showing Mickey the dinosaur on the cover

            “Isn’t that a little old for you?”

            “I’m smart. I’ll be a fifth grader this coming school year.” Mickey looked at her, trying to add the years in his head, but it didn’t add up.

           “Last time I checked eight year olds didn’t go into the fifth grade.”

            “Like I said I’m smart.” Anastasia threw at Mickey. He rolled his eyes at her,

            “Wonder where you got that from,” If looks could kill Mickey would be dead by now. This was going just great. “Look this wasn’t how I planned to see you again, but I’m here now. So can we stop with the short answers and mean mugging looks? I’m trying here.” That was all it seemed to take for Anastasia to finally snap at Mickey throwing the book at him.

            “NO, NO, NO! You left me alone with her! Stopped coming for holidays, my BIRTHDAY! You stopped loving me. The only reason you are here is because Uncle Iggy doesn’t want to deal with me! You have a new life, and a new family, I’m not stupid.. I know nobody knows about me, I was just a mistake you left behind… And stopped loving..” She was slumped over head in hands not letting Mickey see she was crying. He crouched in front of Anastasia grabbing her face.

            “Stop with the water works,” rubbing her hand over her face Anastasia tried to make herself seem strong like the rest of the Milkovich’s. Mickey could guess what she was thinking, and cut in before Anastasia could give a smartass comment.

            “I _never_ stopped loving you. I’ve fucked up in a lot of ways, I made mistakes when you needed me most, but I’ve never stopped loving you. So you can get that idea out of your head right now. I’ve never _ever_ regretted you, you were the best thing that happened for me. I’ve missed you so much. I know that doesn’t make up for the shit I’ve missed, but Mandy and Iggy? They love you, and I love you. That’s never going to change. Your my Princess Ana remember? Princess of south side, you use to make me carry you on my shoulders everywhere we went, remember?” Mickey smiled at the memory of a five year old Anastasia demanding she was a princess like in the cartoon movie, and claimed that Mickey was her slave and had to carry her everywhere.

            “I’ve missed you daddy, but I’m not forgiving you that easy.” They shared a knowing smirk that they both knew she had already forgiven him the moment he walked in the door yesterday.

            “Fair enough, kid.” Turning back to their forgotten breakfast, Mickey could get use to this.

*

*

                    Mickey was chain smoking outside while Anastasia and Iggy were making lunch inside. Anastasia had yet to really give Mickey any information other than how long she was alone. He did manage to get ahold of Alex’s mother, Hellen, but Hellen thought Anastasia had been with him in New York for the past two years. None of this shit was adding up for Mickey other than the fact that Alex really wasn’t coming back anytime soon. Mickey felt lost and helpless on what he was supposed to do. He hated feel like he didn’t know what to do.

            “Hey assface!” Mandy chirped on the other end of the phone, because that’s what she did now she chirped instead being harsh as she once was. Well most of the time really.

            “Hey Mands. What’s up?” Mickey was trying to play it cool, he didn’t want Mandy to know just how much all this was stressing him.

            “Nothing much really. I’m about to go in for my shift at the dinner. One of the other girls called in sick so they called me in early to cover her shift, and it fucking sucks! I mean come on I’m already working night shift it’s not like I want be there any longer then I have to be. Plus we have some creep ass regulars in the afternoons there. Anyway, how’s my little Lady Bug doing?” A sad smile creeped onto Mickey’s face as he heard Mandy use the old nickname their mother would call her when they were little. Mickey took in a ragged breath before he replied,

            “Shit Mandy, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Things are so fucked up here.”

            “What’s wrong Mickey what’s going on? Is Anastasia ok?” Mickey could hear the concern in her voice as she asked about her niece. Mickey felt like the words were pouring out of him, and he couldn’t stop.

            Thirty minutes, and many threats from Mandy later they were silent on the phone. Everything that needed to be said was said, and every possible outcome was gone over until Mickey finally realized what he was going to have to do. Mandy had told Mickey again and again she couldn’t believe this was happening. Mickey had knew what needed to be done, and what he had to do. Even if that meant giving up someone he loved.

*

*

            By six that night Mickey was on the road headed back to his apartment in New York. Iggy had helped him pack the car, making him promise to come back for Christmas at least. In his life in New York Mickey managed to be safe from his father, hold a decent legal job at a garage, and even come to terms with being gay and live with his boyfriend (even if his sister still lived with them.).

              While driving Mickey thought back at how far he had brought himself from the thug drug dealer he use to be. Yet even though he felt proud that he’s been able to do so much, Mickey felt guilty. While he was happy his daughter had been abandoned by her mother, and him. All this happened while he was good accepting and embracing all the excuses that came up on why he couldn’t make it to see Anastasia. . Even if it wasn’t intentional it’s exactly what he did he had abandoned her. Mickey really hoped that he was doing the right thing for her…

*

*

            Mickey pulled into a cheap motel about six hours’ worth of driving later. Normally he would drive straight through, but he couldn’t. Not when Anastasia looked so uncomfortable curled up in the passenger seat.

            Picking her up Mickey tucked her into the big bed so hopefully she would sleep better than she would in the car. Anastasia looked so peaceful, and content all wrapped up, and drooling on the pillow. All Mickey could do was stare, seeing Anastasia like this Mickey realized that this was the right things to do. How Mickey was going to explain any of this to Ian he’d never know, but at least this way Anastasia would be safe.

        He wasn’t going to let anyone take her away, or hurt her anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the coments and kudos last chapter. I have started writting the next couple of chapter and if people seem to keep liking it then hopefully I'll finish it! Let me know what you think ! :D


	3. The boyfriend meets the daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian could see a small figure with red hair, hiding behind Mickey’s legs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my other chapters have been kinda shortish so i tried to make this one a little longer.

                The extra room in the apartment had been empty for years. It was Ian’s when he had first moved in, but when he and Mickey started getting serous the room had been abandoned except for the bed, a nightstand, and an almost empty bookshelf. Mandy was putting clean sheets on the bed, happy that they had the extra bed for her niece about to be here. Even if Mandy was worried about how Ian was going to react. Three years is a long time for your boyfriend to be lying to you about something as big as having a child.

                Ian had become Mandy’s best friend over the years they told each other everything. She tried to talk Mickey into telling Ian about Anastasia, but Mickey would come up with some reason not to and make her promise not to say anything to Ian. She had talked about Anastasia all the time when Ian first moved in, then when he and Mickey started seeing each other Mickey made it seem like she was one of their brother’s daughter. Mandy felt like a shitty friend for not just telling Ian, but she felt like it was something Mickey needed to do himself.

                Walking into the small yellow kitchen Mandy saw Ian flipping pancakes in nothing, but some basketball shorts,

           “Hey Mands you want something to eat?” Ian had made enough pancakes to feed a small army of people, but that wasn’t really shocking. Between Mickey and Ian they could eat everything in the grocery store and still be hungry.  Mandy knew she needed to get some sleep before Mickey arrived home with Anastasia, but she also couldn’t resist Ian Gallagher’s smile and his cooking.

                 “Sure. Why are you up so early though? I thought today was usually your day off.”  Ian was going to school at NYU, and worked in the library on campus, and most of the time had weekends off. Not that he would confess it to Mandy, but Ian had picked up the extra shifts at the library just so we wouldn’t have to be in the apartment alone. With Mickey gone and Mandy working the night shift at the diner he figured he might as well be doing something as well.

         “Yeah, but I’m working till two today. Figured the extra cash couldn’t hurt you know.” Ian shrugged hoping that he was playing it cool.

        “Uh huh, if that’s the story you want to go with we will.”

         “Fuck off,” Ian gave Mandy the middle finger and laughed, before asking. “Hey have you heard from Mickey?” Mandy knew Mickey was ignoring Ian’s calls. Hopefully Ian just thought that he was busy.

        “No, but, ugh, Iggy told me he was on his way back.” Mandy didn’t know why she kept covering for Mickey, but that’s what siblings do for each other.

        Ian felt like his whole day was looking up now that he knew Mickey was going to be home tonight, and he wouldn’t be sleeping alone.

*

*

                Mickey was having the worst morning. It started with waking up in the gross chair that he fell asleep on while thinking about what he was going to tell Ian when they got home, then he realized that he slept later then he meant to, but to top it all off he lost the damn kid!

                Anastasia wasn’t in the bed anymore and Mickey had searched the whole room, and was now walking around outside trying to think of places to look. Mickey’s been in charge of her for only 24 hours and he’s already lost her! Goddammit, where the hell was she? Mickey checked by the car, and asked the guy in the lobby if he’d seen her, but Mickey was coming up empty. His mind was jumping to all the worst case possibilities like kidnapping, and murder. He rushed back to the room planning to grab the car keys and go look for her, but when he opened the door relief flooded him.

                “Where the fuck have you been?!” Mickey almost didn’t recognize his voice the way it sounded so wrecked with worry. Anastasia was sitting on the floor putting things in a backpack that Mickey had brought in last night with some cloths for her.

                “I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth.”  She held up the blue toothbrush in her hand, and Mickey just then noticed that she was in different cloths and her hair was brushed. Mickey wanted to hit himself in the face, he’d looked everywhere but the fucking bathroom this morning. Grunting instead of actually responding, he snatched up his cloths and stomped into the bathroom to get ready.

                Anastasia was sitting on the bed flipping channels while sitting on the bed when Mickey reemerged from the bathroom.

             “I think I saw a diner when we pulled in last night, you hungry?”  Mickey was starving so he knew that Anastasia had to be. Just as he suspected Anastasia jumped off the bed nodding her so fast he was surprised her head didn’t fall off. Laughing he grabbed the backpack making sure they had everything.

                The dinner was only down the road so they decided to walk it, and at least this way Mickey could have a smoke on the way. The dinner was a 50’s style theme that had old red vinyl booths and a waitress in a tacky looking uniform to take their order. They both ordered chocolate banana pancakes to eat, along with a coffee for Mickey and juice for the kid.

                 “So does aunt Mandy live close to you?” Anastasia was asking random questions about New York, most Mickey couldn’t answer because he hadn’t done a lot of tourist things the whole time he has lived here. So Anastasia had turned to asking questions about his apartment, and Mandy.

              “Mandy lives with me so does one of our friends Ian.” Anastasia looked lost in thought at Mickeys answer, but waited till he took a mouthful of scolding coffee before shocking him in to choking.

              “Is Ian your boyfriend?” Mickey swallowed his coffee burning the back of his throat while looking around the empty dinner. “Excuse me?”

             “Well I’ve heard mom talking about it before. Is that why you didn’t stay with us?” Anastasia was looking at him not with hurt or disgusted, but with more of bunt curiosity. He ran his hand down his face groaning.  

          “We aren’t having this conversation, kid.”  Anastasia scrunched up her face, and stared at Mickey clearly not liking the answer he gave her.

            “Why not? I mean I don’t care if he is. I just. . . what if he doesn’t like me?” Anastasia’s voice turned small, “What is he leaves you because of me? Or does he know about me, never mind I know he doesn’t.” She looked at the table, and started to play with the straw wrapper. Mickey cursed to himself; he should have known that she would be worried about how Ian would react to finding out about her. She was a smart little shit, but how was Mickey supposed to explain how complicated things really where to her?

         “Look Ana, It’s complicated alright? Yes, Ian is my. . boyfriend,” Again Mickey glanced around making sure nobody was listening to him, “But If he doesn’t like you then I’m not going to be with him anymore. You are my first priority, kid. I’m gonna do what’s best for you. Fuck him if he doesn’t like you, he would be a damn fool because you’re a great kid, Ana.” Mickey knew it was a very small chance that Ian would want to still be with after all this, and Mickey couldn’t really blame him. The smile that spread across Anastasia’s face when she realized that Mickey would choose her over Ian made everything alright. Mickey would be ok, as long as he was being a good father.

         Their food came out and Anastasia wasted no time smothering her pancakes in sticky syrup, and scarfing it down. Mickey was soon able to notice that other than her looks Anastasia inherited his appetite for food as well.

        Soon they were back on the road, and Mickey’s anxiety slowly started to get worse as they got closer to the apartment.

*

*

                Ian was a little disappointed when he found out that Mickey wasn’t back when he got home after work, but Mandy had the night off for once so he didn’t think much about it. He always loved hanging out with Mandy; she was his best friend. They watched some TV show about hoarding while Mandy told Ian about some weird dude at the dinner the other night, until she went to the kitchen to make dinner.

                Ian went to help mainly because he was so bored, it turned out that Mandy was making some Ukrainian soup that her mother used to make for them when she and Mickey were kids. He tried helping, but Mandy had to correct what he did so he gave up figuring he was doing more harm to her soup then good. Ian went back to watching TV while Mandy finished up dinner.

*

                Mandy had just yelled at him that dinner was done, when Ian heard someone at the door. Turning his attention away from the TV Ian caught Mickey walking through the door.

                “Hey Mick!  You’re just in time Mandy just finished dinner.” Ian had gotten up to show Mickey just how much he’d missed him when he realized that Mickey looked like a fish out of water. His mouth opened and closed, like he was trying to think of something to say, his whole body was straight, and his muscles were so stiff it looked painful. That’s when Ian noticed all the extra bags that Mickey was carrying, but that’s not what stopped him.

                Ian could see a small figure with red hair, hiding behind Mickey’s legs. From what Ian could see the girl was small with big blue eyes, and dark red hair that was frizzy and windblown. She was clutching Mickey’s pant leg like it was her life line. Ian looked away, and looked to Mickey’s face confusion written all over it when he asked,

                “Mickey.. Who’s that?”

                Mickey had panned out exactly what he was going to say when he saw Ian, but now that he was actually standing in front of him, Mickey couldn’t make his voice work. He brain was blank and all Mickey can do is stare at Ian like a dumbass. Mickey could feel Anastasia’s death grip on his pants, and subconsciously moved his hand to her shoulder in a small attempt at some comfort.

                “Anastasia.” Mickey and Ian had been too consumed with their stare off to notice when Mandy came into the room from the kitchen. She was looking at the hidden girl behind Mickey, and when he looked down Anastasia had turned her blue eyes on him. Mickey gave her a small nod, and that’s all she needs to run right past Ian into Mandy’s arms.

                “Aunt Mandy!”

                “Lady Bug!” Mickey smiled as he watched them, but his smile faded when Ian spoke.

                “Anastasia, she’s your niece right?”

            Mickey turned to face Ian full on, his blue eyes meeting green as he shook his head, “No,” He rubbed his thumb over his bottom lip, “My Daughter.”

         Ian was sure that he must have miss heard Mickey. He didn’t have a daughter; he would have told him right? Ian looked from Mickey to the girl who was standing with Mandy. He still couldn’t really see her face, but Ian could saw the look on Mandy’s face, it was filled with concern and apologies. Mickey was watching Ian as his mouth hung open, and Mandy lead Anastasia away somewhere.

             “What the fuck Mickey, are you really telling me she’s your daughter? That you have a kid that’s what six??!” Mickey sighed walking over to dump all the bags he was still holding on the couch.

           “She’s eight, and its fucking complicated.” Ian ran his hand threw his hair. His boyfriend had an EIGHT year old child!! What the fuck!

        “Why the hell have you never told me this? What the actual fuck Mickey!?”  Mickey didn’t really have the best answer for that one.

              “Fuck Gallagher what was I supposed to say?”

            “Hmm, I don’t know how about ‘Oh by the way I’ve got a daughter’.  Oh shit please tell me she’s the only one, there aren’t going to be more pop up!” Ian was pacing up and down the length of the table in the living room. Hands twitching for a cigarette, how the fuck had his day turned out this way?

            “Christ no, she’s the only one, and when was I supposed to tell you all this huh? It was never the right time! I didn’t know how you would react! We have been happy I didn’t want to fuck it up.” Mickey was starting to get frustrated; he was never good at talking about shit. Normally he’d just walk off, but he couldn’t do that now and it was pissing him off.

            “I would have been fine if you would have told me when we started seeing each other Mickey,” Ian stopped pacing just long enough to take in a long breathe, “But now I don’t know what-” Ian was cut off when Mandy screamed for them, from the back room. Mickey felt his heart rate go up, as he followed Mandy’s voice.

           Mandy was standing over Anastasia when the boys came into the room. Mandy looked frantic, as she looked at her niece who had her hand clutching her chest, her breathing coming out ragged. Ian glanced at Mickey who seemed to be frozen at the sight of his daughter distress. Neither Mickey nor Mandy seemed to know what was happening. Ian stepped in pushing Mandy out of the way, sitting on the floor beside the bed.

          “Hey Anastasia, my name’s Ian. I want you to try and take a nice deep breath for me alright?” Her blue eyes were Mickeys eyes, but her eyes were rimmed with tears as she nodded trying to catch her breath.

        “Mickey.” Mickey didn’t know what was happening, Anastasia looked in so much pain, and her breathing was scary sounding, what was happening? “MICKEY!” Ian’s voice brought him back.

                “Does she have an inhaler?” Ian could see Mickey’s brain catching up with what he asked, and the situation at hand.

        “I think I saw her pack one in a backpack.” Mickey had never run so fast in his life. Ian turned back to the girl in front of him; he took her hand from her chest and placed it over his own heart.

            “Feel my breaths, and heartbeat. Try and focus on matching yours and mine alright?” Mickey came back handing over a small bright red inhaler, shaking it, and taking the cover off Ian handed it over to Anastasia who started taking puffs. After a few puffs her breathing was considerably better, and Mandy had pulled Anastasia into her lap. Mickey watched as Ian left the room, while Anastasia was squirming in Mandy’s lap.

           As much as he wanted to demand to know what the fuck just happened, and how Ian knew what to do, he just went over and took Anastasia from Mandy. Anastasia hatted being held by anyone other than her dad, and when he wrapped his arms around her caging her against his chest she felt like nothing could hurt her anymore.

              Ian sat on their bed thinking, what was the normal thing to do when you find out your boyfriend has a daughter? Ian didn’t care about the fact Mickey did have a kid; it was more the fact that Mickey had kept it a secret from him for years. Ian looked around, at all the memories that he and Mickey had made. Looking at everything that was theirs hurt, because if Mickeys been lying about this, what else has he lied to Ian about?

           “Thanks helping earlier. How’d you know what to do?” Ian lifted his head from his hands to find Mickey standing in the door way of their room.

         “It was a panic attack. Debbie use to get them when she was younger, and as long as she used her inhaler she was fine. Well mostly, she would sleep for a while after.” Mickey nodded

         “Yeah Ana’s sleeping like a rock,” He looked away from Ian glancing at his feet before trying to continue, “Look Ian-”

               “Just stop Mick. You said it was complicated and I understand that, but you’ve kept this from me for literally years. You’ve lied to me, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this information, but right now I’m fucking  tired and have class in the morning. We can talk tomorrow about it.” Ian grabbed a pillow from the bed and handed it to Mickey. “I think you should sleep on the couch tonight.”

               Mickey didn’t know what he expected, but it still hurt when Ian told him to sleep on the couch. He took the pillow and headed to camp out on the couch. Mickey would find a way to make things with Ian right tomorrow, he’d figure out how to be a good dad, and fix all the problems that he’d created with the secrets he kept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! thank you for all the kudos and commets I've gotten <3


	4. Everythings gonna be ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did Mickey Milkovich just use the word princess?

                The sunlight filtering in the window, plus the loud fucking annoying alarm clock woke Ian. He rolled over to cuddle into Mickey for just a little longer before he had to go to class. The Bed was to big and to empty, Ian groaned as he remembered why he was alone. The memories of Mickey being home a red headed child saying that she was his daughter, Ian was so furious that Mickey had kept something this huge from him. All Ian wanted to do was crawl under the covers and never come out, but he had class. He pulled himself from bed and grabbed some clean cloths, hopping he could sneak out before Mickey woke up.

                Ian went straight for the front door skipping coffee figuring he could just pick some up on campus, but when he pasted the couch Ian couldn’t help but look at Mickey on the couch.  Mickey was on his back with one arm over his face snoring quietly, and curled into his side was Anastasia drooling on his other arm. Seeing them like this with their mouths both slightly open Ian could tell how much Anastasia and Mickey looked alike. She had his mouth and nose plus Ian knew she must have gotten Mickey’s height because she was such a small thing for being eight.

                Ian left closing the door behind him. He couldn’t look anymore there were so many emotions swirling through him as he looked at the father and daughter asleep. He knew that things were going to change between him and Mickey, and that’s what hurt most of all.

                Mickey woke to the sound of the front door closing; he knew that it was Ian trying to leave before he woke up. Mickey was dreading having to talk with Ian, having to tell Ian all the fucked up things from his past. He knew that Ian would leave after he heard everything, Mickey couldn’t blame him, but that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t going to fight for Ian to stay. Mickey wasn’t ready to give Ian up. Mickeys mind was spinning all the different outcomes in his head that he didn’t notice Anastasia till he tried to move his arm.

                She must have gotten on the couch with him in the middle of the night. Normally it grossed him out when Ian or Mandy drooled on him, but Mickey couldn’t bring himself to care that Anastasia was. Mickey moved onto his side and gently pulled Anastasia against his chest, and rested his chin on top of her dark red hair. Mickey reminded himself that he was doing all this for her, to keep her safe.

*

*

                 Mandy walked into the kitchen ready for some fucking coffee already. While she stood at the counter willing the coffee to be done already with her mind, when she heard the kitchen chair move.

                “Morning Lady Bug, you want some breakfast?” Anna nodded and looked more awake at just the thought of some food.

                “I love breakfast food, and I’ve missed your cooking a lot!” Mandy had to set the milk down she was laughing so hard. Mandy knew how much Anastasia loved her cooking, but really it was probably just the fact that Alex wasn’t the one cooking. When she was fourteen she remembers Alex trying to cook something to eat and almost burning down the Milkovich house.

                “Alex still not know how to cook?” Mandy turned to look at Anastasia when she didn’t answer. The little girls head was down red hair falling in front of her face, and she picked at her finger nail.

                Mandy went back to the food, lose in her own thoughts. This wasn’t the same Anastasia that Mandy remembered. She remembered a ball of energy that never stopped talking. Mandy remembered a child that hated silence so much that they had to keep the radio going all night. This wasn’t the same Anastasia that Mandy had known, because something had happened in two years she didn’t visit her niece.

                “Eat up.” She handed Anastasia a plate with French toast, “Things are gonna get better.”

                “I know.” That’s all she said before digging into her food. Mandy desperately wanted to ask what had happened with Alex, where she was, why she left, but she didn’t. Anastasia would let them know what had when she was ready to relive the experience.

                To just make Anastasia smile Mandy started to tell embarrassing stories about Mickey as he walked into the kitchen.

                Mickey hated Mandy sometimes, right now was one of them. Mandy was telling Anastasia about the time he accidently broke his foot. The story involved, a cat, a blow dryer, the front porch, and a shit ton of acid. Thankfully Mandy was smart enough to leave out the acid when telling it. Anastasia was cracking up at the story, and Mandy was no different.

                “Yeah, Yeah keep laughing and I’ll shave off your eyebrows while you sleep.” He sent a smirk at Anastasia as she giggled at him and Mandy.

                “Oh fuck off.” Mandy slapped Mickey’s hand away as he reached for her piece of French toast. Mickey sent Anastasia a playful glare as she kept laughing at them; only for her to give Mickey the biggest smile ever…. With a mouth full of food.

                “You working today?”

                “Yeah, but working the night shift again. I figured we could work out a schedule for Anastasia.” Mickey nodded; he understood that it was going to be a challenge having to have someone home with Anastasia during the day since its summer. Hopefully between him and Mandy they would be able to do it.

*

*

                  Ian got a text from Mickey on his lunch break saying that Mandy and him were taking Anastasia to the park, if Ian wanted to join for lunch. So here Ian was standing across from the park watching Mickey like a true creep. In his defense Ian had never seen Mickey look so open and soft with someone. Ian didn’t go over to the park, where Mandy was sitting on a table laughing at Mickey and Anastasia. No instead he stood there and watched how Mickey interacted with his daughter.

                Watching them Ian’s mind was going crazy with questions. What was Anastasia like? What was her mother like? What did her mother look like? Was she a red head to, did Mickey have a type? Ian couldn’t stop no matter how much he tried.

                Ian left as Mickey started to push Anastasia on a swing. He couldn’t look anymore, He and Mickey had been together for three years and it was no secret that Ian eventually wanted kids. So watching Mickey with his daughter Ian couldn’t help feel like this was a cruel joke someone was playing on him.  Ian knew he had a lot to think about before seeing Mickey tonight.

*

                Mandy had left for work long ago, so Mickey and Anastasia were watching TV when Ian walked through the door.

                “Hey.” Mickey watched Ian throw his keys on to the table next to the door.

                “Hey,” Ian looked next to Mickey were Anastasia was happily watching TV for now. “Think we could talk?” Mickey nodded and stood up.

                “We are going to be right out on the fire escape if you need anything, alright Ana?” Ian watched the little girl motion for Mickey, and whisper something in his ear. Mickey rolled his eyes walking away as he threw over his shoulder,

                “Mind your own business brat.”  Mickey followed Ian out their bedroom window onto the fire escape laughing.

                “She’s a curious little shit, gets that from Alex.”

            “Tell me about her.” Mickey looked at Ian over lighting his cigarette.

                “What?”

           “Tell me about Anastasia’s mother.”  Ian was staring at the empty ally way, he didn’t want to see Mickeys face, but he had to know about her. He heard Mickey sigh.

                “Fuck man, I don’t know what you wanna hear. Alex she was by best friend we grew up together.  She would help keep my dad off my back. We were sixteen when we found out she was pregnant. Three years later Alex help Mandy and I get away when my dad found out I was gay.”  Mickey threw this cigarette off the fire escape, and lit another one before continuing.

                “I left them to keep them safe. My dad would have killed me in front of them both when he got out of jail. So I left my daughter with my best friend. That’s where I would go for the holidays, but the past few years Alex kept calling me telling me not to come down. She would use some bullshit excuse, and I was just too wrapped up in my life to notice that something was wrong.”

                Ian watched Mickey as he rubbed a down his face, the other one rolling the cigarette through his fingers. With all the thoughts running through his head today Ian still was shocked by what Mickey had just told him. Ian thought that Mickey was just another Monica. That he just wasn’t ready to be a dad so he left, but that wasn’t true.

                “Look I understand if you don’t want to stay together alright?” That’s not what Ian wanted at all, but that might be what ended up happening.

                “It’s not that simple Mick.”

                “Like fuck it’s not. I know you didn’t sign up to be with someone with a kid, or end up having the kid move in with you.”  Mickey lit up another cigarette just to keep his hands busy.

                “Mickey it’s not just about what we want anymore. It’s about what Anastasia wants, or what’s best for her. How would she react if in five years we broke up? Mickey you have to think about what’s going to be best for her. So you need to take time and think about what’s going to be best for her. Need to think about how she would feel with us being together and me being a part of her life Mick.” Ian was right, and Mickey was going to have to figure out what was going to be best for Anastasia.

                “So what the fuck does that mean for us?” Mickey looked at Ian for answers, but before Ian could answer there was a small knock at the door. Both of them looked through the window to see Anastasia walking in the door.

                “What’s up kiddo?” Anastasia bit her lip looking just like Mickey.

                “Ugh, I was wondering what we were having for dinner?” Mickey looked at the time he noticed that it was 7:45 already.

                “Shit sorry, how about I just order some pizza since there is nothing in this fucking apartment to make,” Anastasia smiled nodding at her father. “I’ll call it in now. Why don’t you just go watch TV we will be out in a few minutes princess.” Mickey finished off his cigarette while Ian chuckled to himself.

                “The fuck you laughing at?” Ian looked at Mickey who was trying to hide his smile.

                “Just never thought I’d live to see the day what Mickey fucking Milkovich used the word ‘princess’ sweetly, and not as an insult.” Mickey shoved Ian laughing as he flipped him off. For just a second Mickey was able to forget how complicated they had become. Yet he couldn’t just leave it, he needed to hear what was happening between them.

                “Ian were the hell does this leave us?” Ian stopped laughing, and looked into Mickeys eyes.

                “Just take a break I guess. Just for a little bit for you to figure out everything with Anastasia. Then if it doesn’t seem like it will work out were we can still be together then we will call it, and end this for good.” Ian looked away, and even though Mickey knew that there really wasn’t any other way that it could have worked it still hurt to hear.

                “Alright, I guess we will see how this goes.” Mickey wasn’t going to hold his breathe that Ian would want to stay with him. They climbed back into the apartment, and went to watch TV in the living room.  Mickey and Ian had decided not to make it weird, and would try to act like nothing happened with Mandy and Anastasia.

                When the pizza arrived Anastasia took it off the table where Mickey had just sat it and walked into the kitchen without a word.  Mickey just stood there watching his dinner walk away before yelling after his devil child.

                “Where the hell are you taking my pizza?”

                “To the kitchen!” Anastasia yelled from the kitchen like it was the most obvious thing ever.

                “And why are you doing that?” Mickey still didn’t budge when Anastasia walked back into view hands on her hips giving Mickey a glare that would have made Mandy proud.

                “Because families should eat dinner together at a table, not at the TV, so both of you get in here.”  With that she walked right back into the kitchen, leaving Mickey to shake his head, and motion for Ian to follow.

                “GET IN HERE OR ILL EAT IT ALL MYSELF!” Anastasia yelled as Ian was getting off the couch, Mickey started to laugh.

                “No use arguing her, plus I’m almost 100% positive that she could eat that whole fucking pizza by herself.”

                The three of them sat at the shitty kitchen table to eat, and Ian couldn’t help but be reminded of the family dinners that his family would always happen. Ian listened as Mickey and Anastasia talked about something involving Mickey’s brother Iggy.

                Watching them he knew that he shouldn’t get his hopes up that Mickey would want him to be apart of Anastasia’s life long term, but how could he not? Ian was so fucked because even though he was still mad at Mickey for keeping secrets, he would do anything to stay with Mickey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for waiting on this chapter sorry it took a while. Thank you so much for all the comments and kutos !  
> Just letting you guys know that im going out of the country for this week, but the next chapter will be posted as soon as i get back hopefully! let me know what you think about this chapter ! thanks for reading ! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Ive never written anything before so im sorry that this is probably horrible! Tell me how you liked it or how i can improve ! more tags will be added as they are needed if I keep going.


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